Thursday, October 23, 2014

That One Trailer About Superheroes (Avengers 2)

In case you weren't aware, there's this somewhat famous director named Joss Whedon who made this relatively popular movie about 2 years ago. It was about some superheroes, and it was called The Avengers. "Earth's mightiest heroes sort of thing." Well, he made a decent profit on it, so he thought maybe people would like it if he made a sequel called Avengers: Age of Ultron

That's as much sarcasm as I can handle tonight. *runs screaming around the family room*

Okay. We're good here. Uhm, yeah, so as I originally posted here, Marvel announced on Tuesday that the first teaser trailer for Avengers: Age of Ultron would debut during the October 28 episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Well, some Internet trolls got a hold of the trailer and leaked it sometime between Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday evening, so Marvel decided to just go ahead and officially/unofficially 'release' the trailer everywhere.

Like I said before, I have been watching this movie's news like a hawk [see what I did there ;) ] for the last year and half, so this was like Christmas in October. I was doing dishes, and decided to go check my Facebook. About 3 scrolls in, I saw the trailer post, and was promptly reduced to a babbling, face-fanning fangirl. 

Here is where I should confess something. [Confession's good for the soul, right?] I get a bit annoyed with fangirls. It's probably because I spend too much time on the Pinterest geek boards, but either way, after a while, I start to look down my nose at their excitement.

Well, I can't say much now, because for the last 24 hours, I have been one very distracted, overexcited, incoherent, 'can't-evening' fangirl because of this trailer. So I thought I'd do a blogpost of my mental reactions to the trailer, to try and process them. I will apologize ahead of time, because this is basically a brain-barf post of me, trying to figure out what all Mr. Whedon's got in store for us this time around.

Here's the trailer in its entirety:

And here's my 38 screenshots:

 mmmm....this is a city. what city is this. there's a tall unique-looking building. is this new york city or chicago. why chicago. i don't know.

*gasp* that's scarlet witch and quicksilver. why are they protesting with a crowd. at the end of winter soldier they were in a cell. with baron von strucker watching. how did they get out? that flag. that's a french flag. that sign. it says HEMA. what is HEMA.

oh my word. is that water running off or is that melting stuff. what could be melting off ultron's suit. but those are welding sparks.

there's cap. wait, that license plate looks russian. what kind of car is that. opel omega 20. google says that's a german car. but...i don't understand.

there's hawkeye. what happened that's making these crowds panic. what happened or what's coming.

oh this-this is very interesting. where's hawkeye. they're in a helicarrier. cap looks sad/tired. natasha looks sad/tired. mark looks very shaken/upset. did he just calm down from being hulk, or is he on the verge of being hulk. he looks a little green. thor looks upset or worried. he's not sitting down, he's almost pacing.

oh SNAP that's creepy. hello, mark I.

who is that chick by don cheadle whatever his character name is. RHODEY, yes. is that maria hill. why is thor wearing a long red coat. what in the cow.

that must be natasha leading bruce away. who's the brunette behind thor. there's that chick with rhodey in a red dress. who the flip is she.

well then. and we thought loki was bad. this guy is the scarecrow of your nightmares.

what is this building. is this in germany or russia. is this a hospital or a school or a prison. does this have anything to do with von strucker. gah. is this germany or russia.

all this shooting in the city. maybe they're shooting at the hulkbuster. what's with the lady in the headscarf diving for her life. 

that's a tank. what are we fighting with tanks. forests in winter. wait, is that even our tank.

that's bruce, stumbling around in the same forest in winter. must be where they picked him up from. is he going hulk, or calming down from hulk. who's after him. this must be russia. 

that's gotta be nat. what about a glass room.

that's a unicycle wheel. because scarlet witch and quicksilver are mutants they could be in a circus. OH MY GOLLY NO. that's a hospital bed wheel. you need help. did someone experiment on them.

see, hospital, not circus. that's an arm and a gloved hand. an old syringe. those are scissors. no they're forceps. google says delivery forceps. DELIVERY FORCEPS. WHO THE...... is someone being experimented on. does this have to do with the mutant twins. wait, that's why the hospital wheel was rolling so fast. someone's having a baby......oh my cow.

whose place did they trash. did ultron break out scarlet and silver from von strucker. are they working for him.

lol, you two were married in godzilla. this is so awkward.

what are they looking at. where in the world are they. aw, look at my poor baby thor. he's all beat up. did you just call thor your baby. sweet baby louise, you need therapy.

um. what is so startling that it would make thor drop mjolnir. what. nothing scares him.

ah, fury. i thought you got rid of the patch. are they in a garage. whose rocking horse is that. fury's wearing a beanie. see, they've got to be in a wintery place. like russia.

oh, yes, they gave her back her sassy red hair. i didn't dig the winter soldier hair.

ooooh. that is a face of pain. those are sad eyes. what is the deal here.

holy cow. there's no way that's tony in there. it has to be controlled by ultron. man. that's huge.

i assume they're fighting one of the iron legion. is that toilet paper.

 who in the world are these people with cap. whose party. is that a nazi banner. what soldiers have white helmets. is this the forties. that gal has forties hair.

that's definitely not russia or germany. did ultron drain an ocean. what kind of ships are those.

who is that. is that baron von strucker.

oh look a shirtless scene for thor. wonder if it'll be as pointless as the one in thor 2.

hmmm, it's like natasha is the only person who can get through to hulk.

BALLERINAS. what. is that hawkeye playing the piano.

see. there's hawkeye in another trench coat in wintery woods. this must be russia.

this must be bad. what did tony say. why does thor care. babe, put the egoist scientist down. you just called thor babe again. you...need therapy.

mm, she looks scared. this can't be good either.

UHM NO. definitely not good. what the frack.

HOLY SON OF A DORITOS-LOVING MONKEY MOTHER. hello there james spader's facial inflections and mannerisms. THAT VOICE THOUGH. "There are no strings on me." OH. MY. GOODNESS.

This is the point where I sit in my chair and rock back and forth and grin like a Cheshire cat. It's almost too much to process, I tell you. :-D After further research, I have discovered that the creepy background song and the "strings" line is a darkened nod to Pinocchio. He sings "I've Got No Strings" in the old Disney cartoon. *shudder* Wow. 

I think Whedon's got a good thing going on. *sigh* May is so very far away.


  1. I'm actually so excited to see this... Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with me (grins evilly), but I love me some dark, scary stuff, especially as Marvel's been able to put out. Scary, but SO HUMAN. Anyway, this made me laugh. The ballerina part kind of confused me, too. And toilet paper, HAHA. xD

    1. Dark, scary, yes. That's exactly the vibe I got from this. I told my brothers that this one was gonna make Avengers look like sparkly unicorns pooping out cotton candy and rainbows. slightly inappropriate, but it demonstrates my point. This movie is gonna be SAD.

      So glad I could make you laugh. Bless ya! :-)

  2. Great post!

    I hadn't seen the trailer until a few minutes ago. Funny story, actually: my younger brother walked in and says, "Hannah, in the new Avengers trailer the villain quotes Pinocchio, and the Pinocchio song is playing in the background." And I was like, "Hahaha, that's so funny, good one!" because he always jokes around like that. And then he added, "Yeah, and also there's ballerinas in it! And a slow-motion scene of Thor with no shirt on." And I just laughed at him more, although that last one sounded plausible.

    So when I watched it I was like, "What. For real. No way."

    But it was done so well! It's seriously a cool teaser. Again, great post! So funny. :)

    1. Thanks! I agree; it's a great teaser. I can't quit thinking about it, and all my friends say I'm obsessed, but I'm just like, "Well, guess who will know all the cool info before the movie comes out? Not y'all." :-D When you describe the trailer like your brother did, though, I guess it does sound kind of unbelievable. :-)

  3. "HOLY SON OF A DORITOS-LOVING MONKEY MOTHER" is possibly the strangest thing I've seen today. (And I was on tumblr earlier, so...haha) But so many people are noticing things that I missed! That 1940s bit. What. The ballerinas? Someone said Nat is one of them. I don't know. It's just. Ahhh... I don't even know what to think.
    Well. I'm going to catch up on Agents of Shield and try to console myself. Though, with all the pain it's been putting me through lately...Grrr. Why. Fitz. Simmons. FITZSIMMONS.
    Marvel, why must you hurt me so?

    1. Well, you know, sometimes you have to get creative..... ;-)

      And I only caught different bits because I've watched the trailer about 17 times. Not kidding. I was determined to catch all the surprise bits. I've been Sherlock-y for the last 3 days. :-) I did read somewhere that the ballerinas have something to do with Nat's past, because the KGB brainwashed her into believing her past didn't exist and she'd been a ballerina.

      I don't even know where to start with AoS. :/ I'm so behind, and I have way too many other things to watch. Maybe someday when I get put on bedrest, lol.

  4. Thor is fist-clenching. Nothing good happens that makes him fist-clench.

    (You call him baby Thor. I call him my Sweet Boy. We both need help.)

    What if Thor dropped his hammer because he's hurt, not shocked? If Joss Whedon hurts my Thor, I am going to... make empty threats on the internet!!!

    I'm guessing the '40s shots are flashbacks Cap is having, and that's probably Bucky and Agent Carter with him.

    who is that. is that baron von strucker. That's Andy Serkis. IMDB doesn't give a character name for him -- creepy! But he's not Baron von Strucker, that's Thomas Kretschmann. Who has kind of a similar profile to Jeremy Renner, so I'm gonna bet that's him playing piano for the ballerinas.

    And I've had several conniption fits about Thor being shirtless. In the freaking trailer!!!!!!!!!! ARGH! When my best friend saw this trailer, her only thought through half of it was, "Hamlette's going to be so cross that Thor is shirtless."

    I'm very scared about this movie. Joss Whedon has hurt my heart a hundred times in the past. He killed my second-favorite character of all time. He's not to be trusted. His storytelling mantra is, "don't give the audience what they want, give them what they need." Pretty much cowering in fear and trying not to think about this movie until May.

    1. I JUST caught the fist-clenching, and that totally proves my point. Thor is obviously very upset about something in this one. But what?! If Whedon hurts him, there will be a small riot over here. I am also worried, especially because in the shot of Cap's busted shield, I realized that the half a body/arm laying there belongs to Thor--not to Cap. WHAT is with that.

      *sigh* I've had more than a few rants about the shirtless thing. It's getting old..... All they do is cater to the Thor's-bod-fangirls, and then give all the character development to Captain America. ARGH. *punches wall*

      The 40s thing could be a flashback, but I'm still curious why.

      See, I should've recognized Serkis, but I was so stuck on von Strucker that I totally missed it. The rest of the Internet speculates that he could be Ulysses Klaw, who works with vibranium, which is what could be melting off Ultron's hand in the beginning. Also, Klaw has something to do with Black Panther, some other comic book hero. And apparently the ballerinas refer to Natasha's being brainwashed by the KGB.

      I'm a little nervous about this one, too. I'm bound and determined to go see this opening night if our theater has it (I'm even considering 3D), but I may come out an overstimulated schizophrenic. :-) (Who's your favorite character? Angel?)

    2. Oh, and I forgot to say that 'Sweet Boy' is totally Christian fangirl appropriate, so I'm justifying my 'babe' with that justification. ;-)

    3. A Thor 3 has been announced. So I'm not worrying TOO much. He might get hurt or heartbroken or maimed or something, though.

      (Yes, Angel. He's one of my top 5 characters that are so important to me they really transcend the word "favorite." The others are Sgt. Saunders from "Combat!", Sawyer from "Lost", Wolverine, and canon Sherlock Holmes. Thor, alas, is second-tier. That may change with this movie. But those 5 I have loved for decades, whereas I only "met" Thor when The Avengers came out.)

    4. Uhm, yeah, about that Thor 3, you know the subtitle "Ragnarok"?? Apparently, the mythological Ragnarok was the 'end of the world' where the important gods die. The comic Ragnarok is still the 'end of the world/rebirth' and comic Asgard has experienced many Ragnaroks. I'm not sure we're totally out of the water. :-)

      I love how you rank your 'men'. :-) I think unfortunately Thor may be tier 3 for me, because I read a lot of Janette Oke when I was young, and then I read Austen, and then I discovered comic books/movies. Which reminds me: I have a draft about fictional men that girls compare real guys to. In books, mostly. It's more actually more serious than I just made it out to be. :-)

    5. I'll worry about Ragnarok when it comes. For now, i have my hands full with AOU.

      As for my "men," well... they're more than just my men. They're the five fictional characters I hold nearest and dearest, relate to the most, am the most used to, want to spend the most time with.

    6. Fair enough. I have my whole BRAIN full with AoU. How is the world supposed to survive until May 1?! Haha.

      And then there's Cowboy....just kidding. ;-) Seriously, though, I get your meaning. When you read or watch enough of a character, you really can get attached to them. Like, Polly Milton was like the big sister I never had growing up, or Clark Davis was my ideal husband. And Thor...well, yeah, you know. I get really defensive over him, especially when people say Cap is better. Boo.

      (Not to mention I have dreamed about him. Like last night. Where we were reading Emma together. And he tried to impress me by telling me the whole story from memory. I was very impressed. *snort* Perhaps I shouldn't eat Subway late at night....)

    7. Cowboy is possibly the most perfect husband ever. He understands that my love of fictional characters is not me lusting after someone else, is not me wishing I was married to someone else, is not me comparing him to other people. It's wrapped up with me being a writer and delighting in fictional worlds and fictional people. He bought me a giant cardboard Thor, after all -- as much as is possible for a non-writer, he gets it :-)

      (I've had a grand total of one Thor dream. In which he and I were on this abandoned cargo ship, and somewhere down below was a beast called a Traffelgrrr, and I was helping Thor figure out where it was so he could go smoosh it.)

      (I LOVE dreams that involve fictional characters.)

    8. I think you and Cowboy are wonderful. :-)

      Um, I may have had 2 dreams about Thor, but I'm not admitting anything, and we're not gonna discuss them, because then you will think I need therapy. Hahaha.

    9. Blogger just ate 3 of my comments. I think. Or do you have them moderated, and it's not informing me of such? Sigh. Will try this one more time:

      I just had a dreadful, sad dream about Sherlock and John. Want me to email it to you? Then you'll see you're not the only person who needs therapy.

      Or Thorapy, as the case may be ;-)