Tuesday, August 6, 2013

I Think Mr. Darcy Got Lost

Specifically, it looks like he got lost somewhere between mile markers 20 and 21.

No, Pemberley Estates has not moved, and no, I am not schizophrenic.

I am a little lonely, though.

I will be 21 years old in October, and I currently do not have a boyfriend. Actually, I have never had a boyfriend. And honestly, I've been good with that, until recently. See, people keep getting married.

I can name probably a dozen girls from my church's fellowship who are around my age and who have gotten married in the last two years. It is starting to really bother me. I remind myself that I'm only 20, I don't have time for a serious relationship, and I need to focus on school. I try to remember that it isn't wise to date guys just to get attention and feel loved, and that I wouldn't get serious with a guy unless he was what I was looking for in a husband.

But none of that really calms the hopeless romantic in me that starts panicking every time I hear of another wedding announcement: "Oh, dear. My life is flying past. I will NEVER get married. Where is my Mr. Darcy?" All it takes is an innocent "Oh, did you hear that she and he are getting married?" and I start acting funny. Most of the time I get sad, sometimes a little jealous, and, occasionally, a little crazy.

Case in point:

The other night, at my friend's graduation party, a few of us girls stayed after to watch Thor and Tangled. Both of these involve love stories, and I was feeling kind of wistful. So, in a Doritos-fueled fit of giggles, we—or maybe it was I—concocted a fairly sound plan to obtain a husband.

  1. Stake out pedestrian crossing, and wait for Handsome Pedestrian to cross.
  2. Hit Handsome Pedestrian with vehicle, then see if he needs CPR.
  3. If no CPR is required, hit Handsome Pedestrian with frying pan.
  4. Take Handsome Pedestrian home and tie to chair with hair.

Yep. Entirely foolproof.

Once again, I reminded myself that I am 20 years old, for crying out loud. Pretty sure I'm too old for this nonsense.

But, every once in a while, that hopeless romantic breaks out, leaving me giddy. Unfortunately, that's all she does. For all my jokes, daydreams, and moon-eyes, I never feel any less lonely. Most of the time, I feel worse.

And then the other day, while I was mulling this over, I remembered that I forgot to read my evening chapter of scripture. So I pulled out my Bible and flipped to my scheduled reading, Jeremiah 30. Honestly, none of it really stuck out to me until I got close to the chapter's end: 

"And ye shall be my people, and I will be your God." (Jeremiah 30:22)

And then I smiled. Like a Cheshire cat.

Because, basically, this means that even if my Mr. Darcy never shows up, and I die as an old maid with 27 cats, I still will not be alone.

I hate being alone. I have a fear of being left alone. And I'll bet most of you don't like it very much either.

But the wonderful thing is, God knows we don't like it, and has known this ever since He matched up Adam and Eve. So, in the middle of a prophecy (from the Weeping Prophet no less), He gives us a promise that will never be broken.

You are mine, and I am yours. No matter what life brings you, I love you, and you will never be alone.

Did you hear that? We don't have to play it solo. And while it isn't quite the same as having a boyfriend or husband, in a way, it's better. Jesus' love will never fail us. He cannot die, He will not lose his job, and He is always with us, so He is always watching over us.

So to all of you who are also in the same non-Love Boat with me today: do not feel alone. You're not.

First, you aren't the only single damsel out there, and second, you have Jesus. I will wager that He probably knows how we feel, because, frankly, He died without getting married. So far, none of us have reached that point, so there's probably still hope for us. Until then, use this time to grow closer in your walk with God and grow stronger in your faith.

And keep watching Pride and Prejudice. Specifically, this one. It will never get old.