Monday, July 14, 2014

The Haphazard Homemaker

(Or, "Why I Appreciate My Mother")


Hello, my name is Joanna.

"Hi, Joanna."

I'm 21, and I still live with my parents.

That's just how it has worked out. I work full-time and, until last December, I attended college full-time, but I try to do my share of housework, whenever I'm not hyperventilating from a Biomedical Ethics assignment.

It's kind of hard, though, to “help” someone as capable as my mother. See, Mom embodies the term "domestic manager." When she has a plan, she completes the plan. And then proceeds to the next plan.

I, on the other hand, embody the term "haphazard homemaker." When I have a plan, I plan my plan, then I plan to implement my plan, and then OH LOOK THAT BOOK LOOKS INTERESTING.

Needless to say, I really appreciate her hard work. She teaches at the community college 3 days a week, helps both of my younger brothers with their college classes, and still manages to run our house like a well-oiled machine. So, recently, when Mom and my brothers visited family for 2 1/2 weeks, and left Dad and I on our own, I got to see what kind of homemaker I would be. Boy, oh, boy, did I learn a few things.


1. Laundry never ends. Ever. The next brother to throw clean clothes BACK in the laundry while “cleaning” the room is not getting those clean clothes back. Ugh. Nudists have it so easy.

2. Three days of nonstop rain is not a good enough reason to break down and use the dryer. When the sun is shining AND you’re off work, then you can hang out that confounded white load.

3. Ironing is flat-out BORING. But if you wear your cutest zebra-print heels, pour yourself a party-glass of pomegranate juice and turn on some dub step violin, ironing has just become FUN.

4. Cooking is fun, but cooking without a recipe is really, really, really fun. Psh. Whoever decided chicken spaghetti needed flour anyways….

5. Um, apparently, cooking also requires forward thinking. If you want to make spaghetti on Wednesday night, perhaps, on Tuesday, you should verify that you actually own cooked ground beef. *banging head on refrigerator*

6. When you make pico de gallo, wear a big, pink Kentucky Derby-worthy hat. The pico will taste better. Honest. I think it intensifies the cilantro or something.

7. There is no laissez-faire policy to gardening. Tomatoes are PROLIFEROUS. I can't keep up with them.

8. There are right and wrong ways to buy groceries. My father nearly passed out when he saw the skim milk. I know it's thinner. It's also the cheapest. Obviously, that’s more important…right?

9. Planners save lives. No kidding. I tend to cook--no, run the kitchen--WHO AM I KIDDING, I LIVE--by the seat of my pants. If I didn’t have a planner, I would forget to put in my contacts. Actually, I’m joking. I can’t see without my contacts.

10. I come from a family of 6. HOW ON EARTH DO YOU COOK FOR TWO PEOPLE?!

11. I’m not admitting anything here, but were you aware that if you forget to clean a commode for 2 weeks, it turns colors?

12. And, finally, is there a magic potato soup ratio of potatoes to milk?! *sobs into couch pillows*


Thankfully, Mom came home. And, actually, after 2 ½ weeks, it started to feel like she was coming to visit me at my house. She walked in to a clean living room, pretty-smelling bathroom and a kitchen full of homemade beef and bean enchiladas with brown rice and homemade pico de gallo. Pretty good for a newb, if I have to say so myself.

Honestly, the whole experience made me a little bit excited to get my own house. But that could still be a while in coming, and I currently have 2 teenage brothers, so, if you’ll excuse me, I hear my macaroni boiling over. 

AGAIN.
Linking up today with these expert homemakers:
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36 comments:

  1. Andi's English AtticJuly 15, 2014 at 1:57 AM

    Made me smile. I hope my kids appreciate me like you appreciate your mum.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JoannaJuly 15, 2014 at 6:34 AM

      Glad I could make you smile, Andi! Thanks for visiting!

      Delete
  2. Hamlette (Rachel)July 15, 2014 at 10:40 AM

    Hee! That pretty much describes my life, and it made me giggle a good bit. Especially the bit about the commode turning colors -- I realized this morning I needed to clean the kids' bathroom because my 4-year-old asked me what the grey streaks in the bowl mean. Um, they mean Mommy didn't get around to cleaning it on Saturday like she meant to.

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    1. JoannaJuly 15, 2014 at 3:51 PM

      L.O.L!!! I know I'm gonna get a rude wake up call when I actually own a house by myself, that no one else will be there to take care of it, so until then, I'm just gonna keep trying here. :D

      Delete
    2. Hamlette (Rachel)July 23, 2014 at 4:55 PM

      BTW, I've nominated you for the Sunshine Award here on my blog :-)

      Delete
    3. JoannaJuly 23, 2014 at 6:51 PM

      *GASP* You nominated me twice?! *insert Tangled line* BEST DAY EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Thanks! I'll get around to that eventually. :)

      Delete
  3. Laura of Harvest Lane CottageJuly 15, 2014 at 4:22 PM

    Smiling now!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. JoannaJuly 15, 2014 at 4:41 PM

      Hey, thanks for visiting, Laura! Glad I could make you smile. :-)

      Delete
  4. living from glory to gloryJuly 16, 2014 at 8:45 AM

    Hello, very funny and filled with much truth... Give your Mom a hug and praise her, then get yourself a big planner and start taking notes and write down your ideas and add this blog post to it so a few years from now you will get a good laugh!
    I would love it if you would add my Blog to your sidebar so maybe we could be in contact more and I would of course add your Blog as you are sweet and very refreshing!
    Blessings, Roxy

    ReplyDelete
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    1. JoannaJuly 16, 2014 at 6:04 PM

      Roxy, I did give my mum a big hug. She does so much work, and it's easier to appreciate it when you've had to do it yourself. And your blog is beautiful; I will be glad to add it to my list. :) Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  5. UnknownJuly 16, 2014 at 10:18 AM

    I love this! So fun and funny! Just a great dose of humor for my day. I'm so glad you linked up with SDG!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JoannaJuly 16, 2014 at 6:05 PM

      Aw, I'm so glad I can make someone laugh; it makes my day better to know this. Thanks for commenting!

      Delete
  6. GLENDA CHILDERSJuly 16, 2014 at 4:58 PM

    Ah ... your mom must have had a lovely smile on her face when she came home.

    Fondly,
    Glenda

    ReplyDelete
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    1. JoannaJuly 16, 2014 at 6:07 PM

      She had a big smile on her face, which then quickly turned into a concerned Momma-Bear face, making sure everything was in order. Once a mom, always a mom, I guess. :) Thanks for visiting!

      Delete
  7. PamelaJuly 16, 2014 at 6:32 PM

    I had to smile reading this. My sweet 21 yr. old has taken over the household chores -- including cooking -- until her student teaching begins. It's been such a blessing -- just like I'm sure you were to your mother. And you a good writer, too. Jackpot! ~Pamela

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JoannaJuly 16, 2014 at 7:18 PM

      You are too kind, Pamela! I can only hope I am a blessing to my mother. Thanks for visiting!

      Delete
  8. Ginger HarringtonJuly 16, 2014 at 6:48 PM

    You had me at the title of this post. I laughed and enjoyed your perspective. I've been at this housewife life for 24 years and I still feel this way! Nice to meet you Whole Hearted Home link up neighbor:)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. JoannaJuly 16, 2014 at 7:19 PM

      You make me feel better about my less-than-stellar housewife-ing skills, Ginger. Thanks! And thank you for stopping by! :)

      Delete
  9. Melissa French - The More With Less MomJuly 16, 2014 at 10:21 PM

    Oooh what's dubstep violin. I must ask the YouTube! Thanks for sharing! Hello from Treasure Box Tuesday.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. JoannaJuly 16, 2014 at 10:27 PM

      Oh, let me help start your YouTube search here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRPOztxXWlQ

      Lindsey Stirling is the artist who makes my ironing come alive. :) She is really good. :) And thank you for visiting!

      Delete
  10. JESJuly 19, 2014 at 10:26 PM

    Practice makes perfect! Thank you for sharing your homemaking adventures on the Art of Home-Making Mondays! Twas a pleasure :)

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    1. JoannaJuly 20, 2014 at 7:41 AM

      I keep telling myself that. The only way to improve is to do it more. :) Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for hosting the linkup!

      Delete
  11. momsthewordJuly 20, 2014 at 1:52 AM

    Hahahaha, this was fun!!! Oh believe me, I have learned many of the same things over the years, lol! I have a 21 year old son, and although I taught him how to cook and clean and do laundry, I imagine that he would have some serious (though laughable) problems if he had to suddenly take over the house. ;) Thanks for linking up to "Making Your Home Sing Monday!"

    ReplyDelete
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    1. JoannaJuly 20, 2014 at 7:42 AM

      Well, you know, sometimes I wonder if God made women just we could take care of the men. ;-) Thanks for visiting, and thanks for the linkup!

      Delete
  12. PioneerMommaJuly 20, 2014 at 10:26 PM

    I read this twice, it was so funny! I had (or maybe still have) a hard time with learning some of the "homemaker duties". I envy how well your mom holds it together! My poor son once ate raisins in spaghetti....Luckily I finally buckled down and followed directions enough to learn how to REALLY cook lol. Thanks so much for sharing your story, and your post will be featured in tonight's What'd You Do This Weekend! Pinned :-)

    Ashley @ PioneerMomma.com

    ReplyDelete
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    1. JoannaJuly 21, 2014 at 7:23 PM

      Um, yeah, I just literally laughed out loud at the "raisins in spaghetti"...THAT IS HILARIOUS. I'm hoping my spaghetti is okay without raisins. :-)

      And thank you so much for featuring my post!! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :-)

      Delete
  13. JESJuly 21, 2014 at 6:38 AM

    Congratulations! This was one of the top 3 viewed posts on our link up last week and has been featured! Please join us again on the Art of Home-Making Mondays :)

    http://strangersandpilgrimsonearth.blogspot.com/2014/07/the-art-of-home-making-mondays-please_21.html

    ReplyDelete
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    1. JoannaJuly 21, 2014 at 7:42 PM

      Oh, thanks so much, JES!! This means so much to me. I will be glad to link up again, when inspirations strikes me. :) Thank you for hosting the party.

      Delete
  14. enthusiastically, dawnJuly 21, 2014 at 7:56 AM

    Seriously - you are hilarious. Come visit me in Rhode Island. My husband will thing you are my daughter from another dad or something. He'll never even know you are here- probably- perhaps we can wrap up the Christian homemaker, wife, mother thing together. Or you can just realize that getting older does not guarantee these things...I am still working on the domestic diva wanna be at almost 50! ;) Great post...and love your profile description at the top right.

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    1. JoannaJuly 21, 2014 at 7:56 PM

      Aw...thank you, Dawn! That's so kind of you to say to a complete stranger. :D Rhode Island, eh? Got anything interesting besides beautiful red roosters? :) And I sure I hope I at least get part of the domestic diva down pat before I'm 73, you know. Oh, and the profile description just kind of came to me one day when I had to write on a wall. Long college story. Hey, thanks for stopping by! P.S. Love your blog name.

      Delete
  15. UnknownJuly 21, 2014 at 7:59 PM

    Thanks for the laugh. I needed a good laugh. I can just visualize you ironing to Lindsey Sterling with the great Kentucky Derby hat on and a big flashy apron and zebra striped high heels. You are always so much fun! My girls love and miss you so much. I know your mom appreciate all your help. She is super woman and you are following in her footsteps!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. JoannaJuly 21, 2014 at 9:23 PM

      Ah, but both of my mothers are superwomen. ;-) Never forget it. <3

      Delete
  16. Have a Daily Cup of Mrs. OlsonJuly 28, 2014 at 9:23 PM

    Too cute! It's fun to be in charge now and then. I'm sure that as a young 21 year old that your day will come soon. Gosh, can't believe that I was only 19 when I become a wife. Seems like a babe now. lol! I thought I was so ready. I do love homemaking, but like you said, if you don't clean the toilet for a week it will turn color. Hee-hee! Thanks so much for sharing this fun post with SYC.
    hugs,
    Jann

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    1. JoannaJuly 29, 2014 at 12:10 PM

      Aw, thanks for stopping by, Jann! I'm sure my day will come, but I doubt I could make it as a wife at 21! Here's to hoping I get it a little more down pat before that day. :-)

      Delete
  17. Have a Daily Cup of Mrs. OlsonJuly 29, 2014 at 11:13 PM

    Hi Joanna, just hopping back to let you know that I will be featuring you at Share Your Cup this week.
    hugs,
    Jann

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JoannaJuly 30, 2014 at 4:45 PM

      Thank you so much, Jann! What a pleasant surprise!

      Delete

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