That One Trailer About Superheroes (Avengers 2)

In case you weren't aware, there's this somewhat famous director named Joss Whedon who made this relatively popular movie about 2 years ago. It was about some superheroes, and it was called The Avengers. "Earth's mightiest heroes sort of thing." Well, he made a decent profit on it, so he thought maybe people would like it if he made a sequel called Avengers: Age of Ultron. 

That's as much sarcasm as I can handle tonight. *runs screaming around the family room*

Credit

Okay. We're good here. Uhm, yeah, so as I originally posted here, Marvel announced on Tuesday that the first teaser trailer for Avengers: Age of Ultron would debut during the October 28 episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Well, some Internet trolls got a hold of the trailer and leaked it sometime between Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday evening, so Marvel decided to just go ahead and officially/unofficially 'release' the trailer everywhere.

Dammit, Hydra.
— Marvel Entertainment (@Marvel) October 22, 2014

Like I said before, I have been watching this movie's news like a hawk [see what I did there ;) ] for the last year and half, so this was like Christmas in October. I was doing dishes, and decided to go check my Facebook. About 3 scrolls in, I saw the trailer post, and was promptly reduced to a babbling, face-fanning fangirl. 

Here is where I should confess something. [Confession's good for the soul, right?] I get a bit annoyed with fangirls. It's probably because I spend too much time on the Pinterest geek boards, but either way, after a while, I start to look down my nose at their excitement.

Well, I can't say much now, because for the last 24 hours, I have been one very distracted, overexcited, incoherent, 'can't-evening' fangirl because of this trailer. So I thought I'd do a blogpost of my mental reactions to the trailer, to try and process them. I will apologize ahead of time, because this is basically a brain-barf post of me, trying to figure out what all Mr. Whedon's got in store for us this time around.

 Credit

Here's the trailer in its entirety:

And here's my 38 screenshots:

 mmmm....this is a city. what city is this. there's a tall unique-looking building. is this new york city or chicago. why chicago. i don't know.

*gasp* that's scarlet witch and quicksilver. why are they protesting with a crowd. at the end of winter soldier they were in a cell. with baron von strucker watching. how did they get out? that flag. that's a french flag. that sign. it says HEMA. what is HEMA.

oh my word. is that water running off or is that melting stuff. what could be melting off ultron's suit. but those are welding sparks.

there's cap. wait, that license plate looks russian. what kind of car is that. opel omega 20. google says that's a german car. but...i don't understand.

there's hawkeye. what happened that's making these crowds panic. what happened or what's coming.

oh this-this is very interesting. where's hawkeye. they're in a helicarrier. cap looks sad/tired. natasha looks sad/tired. mark looks very shaken/upset. did he just calm down from being hulk, or is he on the verge of being hulk. he looks a little green. thor looks upset or worried. he's not sitting down, he's almost pacing.

oh SNAP that's creepy. hello, mark I.

who is that chick by don cheadle whatever his character name is. RHODEY, yes. is that maria hill. why is thor wearing a long red coat. what in the cow.

that must be natasha leading bruce away. who's the brunette behind thor. there's that chick with rhodey in a red dress. who the flip is she.

well then. and we thought loki was bad. this guy is the scarecrow of your nightmares.

what is this building. is this in germany or russia. is this a hospital or a school or a prison. does this have anything to do with von strucker. gah. is this germany or russia.

all this shooting in the city. maybe they're shooting at the hulkbuster. what's with the lady in the headscarf diving for her life. 

that's a tank. what are we fighting with tanks. forests in winter. wait, is that even our tank.

that's bruce, stumbling around in the same forest in winter. must be where they picked him up from. is he going hulk, or calming down from hulk. who's after him. this must be russia. 

that's gotta be nat. what about a glass room.

that's a unicycle wheel. because scarlet witch and quicksilver are mutants they could be in a circus. OH MY GOLLY NO. that's a hospital bed wheel. you need help. did someone experiment on them.

see, hospital, not circus. that's an arm and a gloved hand. an old syringe. those are scissors. no they're forceps. google says delivery forceps. DELIVERY FORCEPS. WHO THE...... is someone being experimented on. does this have to do with the mutant twins. wait, that's why the hospital wheel was rolling so fast. someone's having a baby......oh my cow.

whose place did they trash. did ultron break out scarlet and silver from von strucker. are they working for him.

lol, you two were married in godzilla. this is so awkward.

what are they looking at. where in the world are they. aw, look at my poor baby thor. he's all beat up. did you just call thor your baby. sweet baby louise, you need therapy.

um. what is so startling that it would make thor drop mjolnir. what. nothing scares him.

ah, fury. i thought you got rid of the patch. are they in a garage. whose rocking horse is that. fury's wearing a beanie. see, they've got to be in a wintery place. like russia.

oh, yes, they gave her back her sassy red hair. i didn't dig the winter soldier hair.

ooooh. that is a face of pain. those are sad eyes. what is the deal here.

holy cow. there's no way that's tony in there. it has to be controlled by ultron. man. that's huge.

i assume they're fighting one of the iron legion. is that toilet paper.

 who in the world are these people with cap. whose party. is that a nazi banner. what soldiers have white helmets. is this the forties. that gal has forties hair.

that's definitely not russia or germany. did ultron drain an ocean. what kind of ships are those.

who is that. is that baron von strucker.

oh look a shirtless scene for thor. wonder if it'll be as pointless as the one in thor 2.

hmmm, it's like natasha is the only person who can get through to hulk.

BALLERINAS. what. is that hawkeye playing the piano.

see. there's hawkeye in another trench coat in wintery woods. this must be russia.

this must be bad. what did tony say. why does thor care. babe, put the egoist scientist down. you just...you just called thor babe again. you...need therapy.

mm, she looks scared. this can't be good either.

UHM NO. definitely not good. what the frack.

HOLY SON OF A DORITOS-LOVING MONKEY MOTHER. hello there james spader's facial inflections and mannerisms. THAT VOICE THOUGH. "There are no strings on me." OH. MY. GOODNESS.

This is the point where I sit in my chair and rock back and forth and grin like a Cheshire cat. It's almost too much to process, I tell you. :-D After further research, I have discovered that the creepy background song and the "strings" line is a darkened nod to Pinocchio. He sings "I've Got No Strings" in the old Disney cartoon. *shudder* Wow. 

I think Whedon's got a good thing going on. *sigh* May is so very far away.