The Post I Don't Want to Write

I'm in denial of writing this post. I really want to take my blog and run and hide in a corner. Maybe then life will pass me by.

This is goodbye. I have signed my soul away to Davy Jones.

Okay, so that's really dramatic. What's actually going on is that I'm going back to school. Again.

Mom likes to joke that I have been in school ever since I was 4. It'd be funnier if she was wrong. 2014 was the first year I haven't been in school since I was 3 years old. Literally.

I want to be a dental assistant, and it took me 2 Associates and a Bachelor's to decide that. I have this little dream that I want some technical skills that I can use on the mission field. I can't really preach Jesus from a pulpit or a desk, but I sure would like to show Jesus with my hands. So I've been accepted into a 9 month program. I start classes January 10, and I'm scared to death.

I have to work full time for insurance, and I have 18 hours for the first semester. It's mostly online, and I drive an hour and a half one way for labs every Saturday.

I've never worked in healthcare. I'm probably the greenest student there. This program is pretty strict. I've never taken boards. I'll be looking for a new job by summer. I'm praying about moving out on my own and whether I should move out of my hometown.

I'm scared to death. I want to just work in customer service and live at home and read books and watch movies and blog for the rest of my life, but I can't. That's cheating.

Me and God had a discussion, and He said no. I am supposed to learn these skills, and I am supposed to reach the point where I can go on missions trips someday. Or serve missionaries. There's a tiny little match flame burning way back in the back of my heart, and I think God said it's time to stoke it.

And so, I'm still scared, but I'm not going to quit. I'm gonna do my best and work my hardest. And I'll pray and sweat and probably cry. But I know that God will be with me for every step, and that's more comforting than staying in my comfort zone.

Which brings me to the actual point of this post:
The Squirrel's Diary has to go on hiatus. That sentence actually makes me cry, but it has to be done. I have about a dozen ideas for posts, and I've got some pretty important movies coming up, and I never finished my reading list, but that's all gonna have wait.

I'll probably be lurking around y'all's blogs and commenting some, but I just won't have time to post anything. Oh, I'm sure I will still be writing stuff, because this year has taught me how therapeutic writing is. It feels good to suddenly get inspired and have to write it down RIGHT THIS MOMENT. I s'pose there is part of me that is a writer. :-) Just don't expect many new posts around the forest. That takes time.

The Squirrel's going into hibernation, and hopefully hibernation produces a more focused, well grounded Squirrel.

I know 9 months will go by quickly, but this will be the hardest 9 months of my short life. So I'm gonna be greedy and ask for your prayers. And I will think of you all very fondly.

Namarie, and le mellon.